Thoughts,Songs,Writings,Rants,Encouragements, and Life

Friday, January 27, 2006

The Last Day


I awoke this morning refreshed but completely tortured. My heart was beating much swifter than usual. Sweat mildly clung between my back and the thermal I had forced over my head, somewhere around two A.M., so that the blood sucking, vile enemies of the night could no longer penetrate my fragile skin.

Quick step to the bathroom to relieve some of the nights building stress. A forcred dunk into a chilly bucket of "good mornin, how the heck are ya?" Slip into a brown t-shirt,pants, hat, and black hoodie.


Scrounge around my Dickies courier bag. Ah-ha, there we go...the pills that would make the pain of the recent wisdom tooth removal, seem like a mild wild fire in the many caverns of my brain.


Stumble to the fridge. Recover: juice, two cups of bottled water, two re-heated waffles drenched in a stickiness of maple syrup and smooth peanut butter. Overwhelmes the four senses I maintain and brings me back to substantial breathing.

Where am I???

Look around. Listen for a few seconds. Children laughing, running water, stray dogs barking, and horns honk-honking. Right, of course. India. My last complete day in Hyderabad. A day of seperation, loss, joy, laughs, panic and various other in-harmonious emotions. A day where I will be overly hyper-sensitive to every tune, tone, thought, breath, and conversation.

Am I ready for this???

Quick get into oblivious mode. Be ignorant and miss everything. Check; email, blogs, sports, and new news. Drink one of the last quality (in its purest forms) cups of tae I will consume or dream about for a long while.

Do I have to get up from this mediocre chair? I mean lets think about this for a few seconds. It spins. And it has one of the neat levers that can lift the chair up or down in seconds. Almost like that ride at Six Flags where you are suspended in mid-air for a few exhilarating and death defying moments, just a little bit slower and not as high up, although I am on the fifth floor.

But of course. Yes, I do have to get up. The dentist is eagerly waiting my arrival. So he can remove the stitches from the left side of my "war zone" of a mouth. This shall also conclude our time as friends and place us back on the playing field of customer and exractor of good monies.

Is it worth it?

Of course it was worth it. No! I don't just mean the dentist. I am referring to the entire year with the college. ACCS. The Asian College of Cultural Studies. All of the beautiful experiences that led me across this very misunderstood and wonderful nation. All of the faces. All of the students. All of the late night conversations over "cold drinks". The few moments where I felt like I was welcome here. The precious seconds where I was the encourager and the encouraged wrapped in one.

"Jeedimetla Village?"

"150 Rupees"


And here it is. Facing me head on. Just like every other day of my life here.

Honk...honk...honkity honk...EAAAIIKK!!

This is it. This is the last ride I will take in an auto-rickshaw out to the campus. The noise pollution only seems a faint influence. The bumps in the road almost feel only too natural. Yellow god of fire, burning and singeing my skin and har, owning the sky, eyes and twinkle of wrinkled smiles blooming. Oh, the shoe shiner on the roadside is begging me againg to let him brighten my soles. All I can think about is how cool his shirt is. Brown t-shirt, black fringe, and a sketched white bear leaping from the mans mid-section. Retro. I wear canvase Converse All-Stars. Bananas, oranges, watermelon, pineapple and coconut. "Eat street and die," echos into my memory. I eat street all the time though. I can see both moons fine when I go to sleep at night.

"Dunyavad (thank you)...have a wonderful day."

My feet have plodded across this walkway far too many times. Towering palm trees line me on left and right. The pale yellow buildings embrace my presence again. They have always welcomed me here.

Ah...the "coffee" shop is open.

50-50(bisquits), Aquafina, and a mango juice box.

"Can I have a straw please?" Look in wallet. "Do you have change for one-hundred?"

"Ha!" (yes) "Thirty Rupees." Jingling of change. Snap of a crisp fifty. "Good day sir." Warm smile

"Enjoy your day brother." Disarming toothy smile.

The buzz in the office ismore hightened than usual. Preperations for Study Seminar are well under way. It isgoing to be so hard to say goodbye to this place. All of the walls covered in maps and calanders of various shapes and sizes. The clock that is at least 13 minutes behind.

Ten bars of "Bounty" (Almond joy-ish candy)

Hugs, conversationsof future plans, "when will I see you again?", smiles, laughs, tears and it is going to suck to have to leave this place.

"Uttum, I will miss you dude. Here have a candy bar. We need to play badminton and get a cold drink later."

Hours of pathetic goodbyes troll by.

Two games of badminton. The sport that I completely am miserable at, but can actually hold my own in. The first is an amazing win by Ben and Sushantu. The second goes about an hour longer (no joke) and yeilds a win to Uttam and Mohan. Sweat is dripping through my shirt. The pain in my mouth is killer.


Multiple pictures of crazy friends goofing off. Multiple moments that will be remembered far beyond this fleeting goodbye. Multiple situations that are freaking me out.

This is my life...

In a typical situation I would usually raise my glass of root beer, smile, breath dramatically and then go onto say something like: "This experience has changed my life forever. I am a better man because for it. And feel blessed to be apart of the ministry here." But don't you see? This time, though all of these are painfully true, something else needs to be conveyed...

India has become my life and my very heartbeat. I have fallen in love. I am in tune. I am in step. India has a beat and I am capabale of dancing to it. My roots have grown deep and are entwined in the rich brown soil. Nothing will EVER be able to take India away from me or me from India.

Of course I realize all of this as I am stepping off of the campus. And as I look up I see a familiar sight. The campus bulliten board. It reads: "You will be blessed when you come in...and blessed when you go out."

The colors are dimming. The sun is setting. The tastes are disolving in my mouth as quickly as they came. The noise is fading. the heat is slowly reducing to a warm embrace. My heart is numbing to all of these new emotions. Tears are aching to fall and soon they will fall. My former home, because this; India is now home, is starting to call...

And I have to answer the call. I am scared, excited, and anxious for whats to come next.

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
-2 Timothy 4:7


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