Thoughts,Songs,Writings,Rants,Encouragements, and Life

Friday, April 28, 2006

She likes...this one!!

Bryan Adams
Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman

To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N' give her wings - when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her
that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you -
til ya know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really -
really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith - hold her tight
A little tenderness - gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman...

Not quite there where near. But she likes we'll keep it!

Thursday, April 27, 2006


Take a ride, up this mountain side
Where the ridges almost touch the sky

Come with me, up to the highest peak
Through the fields of the worlds purest tea

Hold on tight, for fear of your life
Don't look down, and you will be just fine

Dream a tune, of me adn you
And I'm sure, that I'll get through

Darjeeling, you brought me to my knees
And way up here, it's crystal clear
That I'm in love with you
And way up here, It's crystal clear
That I can't breathe with out you

India, so far away
Simple purchase
Brought me back today
And no it's not
Quite the same
But it reminded me
Of you today

Darjeeling, you brought me to my knees
And way up here, it's crystal clear
That I'm in love with you
And way up here, It's crystal clear
That I can't breathe with out you

Darjeeling, I miss you
Afternoon tea, I miss you too
Morning chats, after class
Bring me back, yea, bring me back

India, I miss you
And I'm hoping
That you miss me to 2x

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The coffee shop reflections

Bing Crosby’s White Christmas was heard over the speakers as I walked into the local Starbucks. The addictive twenty-four hour coffee joint was mildly busy and had a Holiday feel to it. I remember the smell of steamed milk and fresh ground coffee beans overwhelming my senses as I entered the favorite coffee shop.

Outside it was freezing. The weatherman had predicted snow. For the middle of December, Portland was at its coldest for the last ten years. Some were talking fifteen year records being broken.

There I stood in the middle of a short line daydreaming; playing around with an idea I had had of a Starbucks sounds compact disc. Something like the trickling of rain in the forest or whales singing. Only the entire album would be done with coffee sounds. Fourteen joyous tracks of easy listening, containing the steaming of milk, grinding of coffee beans, the cha-ching of the cash register, and ending with a satisfied customers sigh after the first sip of his beloved drink.

I was listening half-heartedly to the coffee sounds in my head when the man in front of me placed his order. Normally I do not listen to the orders in front of me. I get the same thing everytime I enter into the addiction kingdom. A White Chocolate Mocha with extra whip cream. This time however the mans drink of choice reminded me of a place I had not thought of for a while. By the time he had finished his request, I was back in a old worn jeep of a car. Literally driving up the side of a hill in Nothern India.

The mans order for Darjeeling Tea brought sights and emotions roaring back into my cluttered mind. Had I so quickly forgotten the wrinkled faces? The wicker baskets balanced so effortlessly upon worn backs. The tea gardens, vast and wide, green and ready to be harvested. I was in the junker of a car drifting up that hill. Up towards the mountains. Up, up, up...into the blue sky. embracing ridges and the curves of the mountain sides. The views stealing your breath more than once. Like nothing you have ever seen on a postcard before. The drop off to your left further down and closer than you would like to admit.

"Tea or Coffee sir?"

And then I am rudely awakened from this memory. From those precious few moments. From the gasps and white knuckles griping the seat for fear of your life ending soon.


"Uh? Tea. Darjeeling tea...none of the fake stuff. Give me the real thing."

"That will be two dollars and thirty-five cents please."

"Oh, right. I have this gift card."

The kind lady at the counter takes my special edition Mariners Gift card and the Cha-ching of the register is heard. In a few moments my tea will be ready. And the sad thing is, I know it will never be close to as good as the wonderful tea I drank in India everyday at ten and three.

I wonder if it will ever be good again?

I wonder when I will taste that tea again.

I wonder as I sip my tea and walk back out into the chilly Portland air, that steals my breath, but not becuase it's beautiful, because it is greedy for someones attention. Greedy to be known and heard. Greedy to take my mind off of the important things I just remembered.

More Words

*note: please read the first post on WORDS. Otherwise this makes no sense.

I mean look, words can or cannot convey cetain things.They can be misinterpreted, misunderstood, or mistaken. There ar emany examples of this, but I refrain froma blunt illustration.

Words can and will be placed into: sect, caste, class, rank, race, time, religion, education, language and countless other forms. And words will only make sense to certain people. There there is slang, buzzwords, histroy, elegance, pride...These will be boxed and fitted for only a few.

Needless to say. We need words. We need phrases. But are they making our points? Remember in My Fair Lady,when Freddy tries to share his affection for Eliza Doolittle? She gets angry and shouts, "Words, Words, Words, useless words." She wants what from Freddy? "Show me!"

"Show me!" But how? Not sure where to begin on that?

For A week now I have been on this journey with Words, Questions, and various other things. I do not want to use words lightly or flippantly.

There are words and phrases I will say. And there are many I shy away from. This will always happen. I AM GOOD WITH WORDS. And it gets me in trouble sometimes.

So, how do I convey anything really important and dear to my heart with words? They may seem fake, they may be fake. They might get twisted. You might not understand. What then do i do to communicate LOVE for those around me, without using the word wrongly or lightly. And not "in love" love. The love of Christ.

Guilty Pleasure

Thats right...bass fishing on ESPN. Yea, watch out friends. I am in the mood to fish. I need to fish. The father son retreat just didn't do it for me. I need more fishing. I need water...need pole...need license...need YOU by my side. Let's go fishing...C'mon!!! I want to learn how to fly fish soon too. And my trip to Klemtu next much fish!!! WooHoo

Here Fishy Fishy Fishy

(would love to go crabbing too)

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


Words, what are words? Vocal sounds we conjure up to communicate with each other certain needs and wants, fears and hopes, dreams and loves, life and love. And yet really what can words really convey?

I wonder what it would be like to be unable to speak or write my thoughts down on paper or to the masses. Would I still be able to grope around this world? Would I be trampled on our cared for? Would I not be in so much trouble? Would people like me more for keeping my mouth shut?

What are questions? Seriously, why do I ask you or her or him all these questions? I mean I come up with something off of the top of my mind and then ask it. Can it be all that importantant? Is it necessary? Are you listening?

Do I need to watch what I say? Or just fling the verbs and nouns and all other senselessness out there? Will you be offended or encouraged, laugh or be warmed inside?

I don't know.

So here is the real question: What should I be asking and saying to those who are important in my life? I mean I understand that I am blessed by Christ to be a blessing to others. Can I use words to do this? Yes. I know that I need to ask questions to figure things out, because you all know how many times I have screwed up by not asking.

Honestly. I don't know what to ask. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to encourage or love. And I am not so sure I have to many examples of this either.

Is it a harsh reality to know that I am broken. I am incomplete. I am not perfect. And yet I really wish to be all of these things. But How??? Somebody please show me.

What do I need to read, Hear, See, Touch, (no smell...can't) to understand?

For those of you around me...who love me, are beginnning to love me, and those who will. What is it that I need to say? Or is it something else?

How do you convey love? Is it by our words alone? OR with everything that we have?

So many questions. Not sure you could call this a post.

I am nervous. Scared. Excited. Giddy. And yet I really do want to know.

Todays playlist

1.You belong to Me- Jason Wade(Shrek Soundtrack)
2.Once upon a time in New York City-Huey Lewis and the News (Oliver & Company Soundtrack)
3.The Purest Place- Watermark
4.For you I will- Teddy Geiger
5.Closer-Joshua Radin
6.Beuatiful Love- The Afters
7. Never Saw Blue Like That Before-Shawn Colvin
8.Look After You-The Fray
9.Home-Michael Buble
10.I need you to love me-Barlow Girl

1.Anxious Arms-The Jelous Sound
2.Still Fighting It-Ben Folds
3.Always on your Side-Sheryl Crow and Sting

Saturday, April 22, 2006

The Purest Place

By:Nathan and Chirsty Nockels

Paint me with Your purity
That I'd attract Your majesty
When others boast in fame and gold
The purest place is where I'll go

The purest place I will draw near
Do what it takes to keep me here
In the center of Your heart
The purest place is where You are

It's not with masses, not with kings
Not in these songs, or offerings
Not in this life, or what it brings
The purest place is You my King


If there's such thing as too beautiful
If there's such things as too wonderful
If there's such thing as too marvelous
Jesus it's You, Jesus it's You


It's You my King,
It's You my King
The purest place, is You my King

This is where I can only hope to be right now. I want to be in the purest place. I want my life to be seeking that place. I want to be at the center of My God's heart. This is also how I want my relationship with my family, friends, and most recently girlfriend to be.

Will you hold me accountable to this? Will you walk into this with me? Will you ourself long, for the purest place?

The White man’s Gospel

After reading The White man’s Gospel for the second time, I find myself inspecting my own attitude and actions towards other Cultures and People groups around me. The book compelled me to look deeper into the reasons why people may or may not be able to identify with Christ and a “Christian” lifestyle. Being that I spent a year in India working with a different type of Indians, but a different culture none-the-less I am finding that the view that most of the world takes and sticks to, is the idea that Jesus was a white man. This book opened my eyes to why these groups of people believe this and also why they are using it to their advantage to basically discount the Gospel because of the “whiteness” that bleeds through it. Although the gospel itself does not give any offering to the fact that Jesus is white or the Gospel was meant for just the white people. I believe that Christ is a multi-cultural God and that He connects to and loves each and every generation and race out in the world today.

The book got me thinking about my opinions of the world around me. The ideas that form in my mind once a name, religion, or place is mentioned is frightening. I begin to judge and correct, become cynical and critical, and yet I know nothing about these people. I need to be beamed in the head by the culture face on before I can actually form the opinion of who these people are and what they believe. My desire for them to know Christ has to be just that, a desire for them to know God. Not, my self concocted Christ. Not my Church’s Christ. Not my cultures Christ. Just plain Christ.

While reading this book I began to get more and more depressed and upset at what WE as Christians have done to the Indians (and other people as well) in the past. And were not talking very long ago past, we are talking in the last 20 years past. My heart ached for the hurt and misunderstanding shown towards these people. Can we be that messed up in our Missional thinking? Seriously, I need to start checking myself before I blatantly force or even convey my opinions to the world around me, especially when it comes to Christ.

I am forced to apologize for those in the past and those who will most likely come in the future and mess Christ up for these people. There is hope however. I am capable of befriending and pursuing relationships with these people. I can show Christ’s love and will through my actions and not my theology or traditions. And I am willing to do so. I am willing to spend time to apologize for the sins I myself have committed to these people by my lack of understanding of their culture and beliefs.

I am a very ignorant person. And this book all but solidified my ignorance for other cultures and what I myself and others have done to them. Good and Bad. I cannot and will not walk into their land or homes and claim that I understand or know their culture and beliefs. I have to come in like a sponge and begin soaking up as much as I can and hopefully learn something that helps me relate and befriend them to where I will be able to share the love of Christ with them.

I recommend this book. Not only for those of us who venture to Klemtu, but for everyone who hopes and thinks they are being a witness to the world around them. My heart was broken in this book. The hope was scarce in this book. The lashing was immense. But I know that I have learned a very valuable lesson when it comes to sharing my faith in Christ with others around me. I must share Christ and be Christ, not something or someone or some tradition that will not connect or gain glory for Christ, I must be and know Christ to these people.

Monday, April 17, 2006

I Miss My Friends

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Wanna hang out...With Me???

A few weeks ago a friend shared a few of his concerns with the people/cliques I hang out with on a regular basis. When the word clique came into play. I quickly defended my "core" friend group. I thought I had given a good answer to his question. I thought had made sense.

I thought I had a "core" group of friends.

Last night I truly realized how wrong I was. For 10-15 years now, I have engaged and clung with and to a certain friend base. For years now I have been begging to be held accountable by my friends. For years I have wished for more than the token "Halo 2" night.

Something snapped in me. A red button was pushed and I can't turn it off. I was genuinly upset when no one. Not one. From my friends showed up for the Good Friday service. For that matter...the fact that no one from my age group showed up, accept a few people involved in the actual service and a handfull of others. Was this my ego wishing they had come to hear my monlologue. Sadly, no! It was my heart breaking for being attracted for so lng now to people who "DO" God and don't "KNOW" God. Am I being a critical, judgemental, and even hypocritical here? YES! And I will suffer consequences for it.

Perhapsit was a year spent in India, with people and friends who spend most moments of the day reflecting on God or seeking Him. Perhaps it was the accountability. The conversations, in the day and night. The conversations of Biblical and eternal relavence. Perhaps it was the love shown to each other.

I realize that I am not perfect. I am WRONG...A lot! (yes, I can admit it) I sin...a lot! I fail. I hurt people. I discard people as if they were dirty laundry. I show more vengance than love. I argue. I'm ignorant. I stand between the cross and the soul far too often.

I want to change.

One of the things I have struggled with over the past few years, is fitting in. I recently took a personality test that revealed I do NOT think like a typical westerner. My soul and passion bleed and drip non-western lifestyle and values. I do not fit into the typical America Church right now. And recently I was told I fit into the Gen X category. "stick it to the man." Whatever that means.

Heres the point. I don't want to be in a clique. I want family (not just blood related.) time. I want to meet new people. I want to dig deeper. Since I have been home for these past few months a couple things have struck me. The first is that my "core" friends are growing in maturity and spirual aspects of life. I praise God for this. Second I have found we as a "core" have drifted and continue drifting apart from each other. Think values, perspective, interests, beliefs, and lifestyle.

After realizing these things I wan't to begin to make an effort to branch out. This is not cutting off. It's a growing time. Does this mean these friends go bye-bye? No, but the time spent gets minimized. does this make it an US and THEM situation? No, they are more than welcome to join in this adventure with me. But it is time for a change. I know this because of the conversations we have been having. The books we are reading. Games or video games we are playing. Movies and music we are loving. They are all different. They butt heads. They don't exactly mesh. I don't mesh.

And after countless nights feeling as if I have wasted a few more hours of my life. A few more angry words. Walking away frustrated and angry. Feeling no love. And as if this thing we are doing is no longer healthy at all. Was it ever healthy??? I am done for a while.

Do I blame them for the un-meshyness? By all!!! There is no blame, but pursuit of the better life and walk. Embrace of meeting more people. Willingness to be used. Openess to love more. And passion to dance a little closer to Christ. I am no longer in sixth grade. The God I serve and know is touchable and is a great communicator. MY arms don't have to be stretched so for, in fear of actually touching Him. They can be wrapped around Him in an intimate embrace.

So my friends. This is not farewell. This actually all of you other friends out there.

Wanna hang out...with me?

Beer, Coffee, Movies, Concerts, Settlers, Frisbee Golf, Hot tub Beach, Board Games, Beaches, Mountains, Road Trips, Basketball....????

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Klemtu Update...

The Queen of the North Sinks

The Queen of the North sank last night off the coast of B.C. It was en route from Prince Rupert to Port Hardy (a 17-hour journey) when it apparently struck Gill Island. A mayday distress call went out at about 12:30 a.m., then all passengers and crew were quickly evacuated to lifeboats once it was apparent that the boat was lost. The passengers spent about an hour in the tossing ocean before being rescued by locals from nearby Hartley Bay and by a Canadian Coast Guard vessel in the area. They watched the ferry disappear completely from sight in just under an hour.

This is HUGE NEWS here since the Queen of the North is OUR ferry and the families in Hartley Bay are extended relatives of our families. There were three or four Klemtu residents on board (all fine) and everyone has either travelled on the Queen of the North or knows someone who has. An all-night VHF (radio) vigil was kept until it was learned that everyone was safe.*

There were approximately 100 passengers and crew on board (with a capacity of 900) and 15 vehicles. The focus is now on finding out WHY the ferry sank, containing the oil spill and resulting environmental damage, and finding a replacement for the only functioning ferry on the Inside Passage route. The ferry is a means of cheap transportation north-south for people, and the main means for getting groceries and goods into the local First Nations communities along the way, including Klemtu. The only other ferry that services this route is in dry dock until June undergoing repairs.

For now everyone is just recovering from the shock of the sinking and thanking the people of Hartley Bay for their prompt, life-saving measures in rescuing the passengers. It's said that if the ferry had been at capacity there would have definitely been deaths as the lifeboats could not hold all the passengers. And if the ferry had run aground at another point on the route, there would certainly have been more deaths as there are very few communities on that part of the coast to provide assistance. We were very lucky indeed for it not to be a tragedy of Titanic proportions.

* We have since learned that two people (a couple) did in fact go down with the boat. We have also learned that the ferry was off-course by at least 1 km and that it is most likely "human error" that caused the ship to run aground. We also found out that had the Queen of the North been equipped by modern standards, it would not have sunk as it would have had two compartments, not just one - which is why it flooded and sank so quickly when the compartment was damaged.

Found this article thanks to Dawn Clement. If you are interested in more Klemtu info, check out Klemtu Chronicles.

Kindove freaky to think that in August I will be on a ferry just like this one. I hope that one actually stays afloat.

I am freaking excited about the upcoming May trip as well as the August trip. The May team leaves on the 4th and we returns on the 8th. Please begin praying for our safety, struggles, health, courage, speech, walks, talks, social skills, stomachs, and various other needs.

I am looking forward to hanging with some of the students that I left five years ago. All of them waving on the dock...wondering if I would return as I had told them I hoped I would.

I still have a pair of sunglasses from one of my fellow Klemtuian friends. I cannot wait to see you again Brandon...

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Crazy Times

"There are some people who will never listen to God, until something terrible happens, they are not interested enough to hear God's still voice in the quiet, so HE speaks to them more loudly." - C.S. Lewis

Acts 9:1-19
Meanwhile, Saul was uttering threats with every breath. He was eager to destroy the Lord’s followers,* so he went to the high priest. 2 He requested letters addressed to the synagogues in Damascus, asking their cooperation in the arrest of any followers of the Way he found there. He wanted to bring them—both men and women—back to Jerusalem in chains.
3 As he was nearing Damascus on this mission, a brilliant light from heaven suddenly beamed down upon him! 4 He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul! Saul! Why are you persecuting me?”
5 “Who are you, sir?” Saul asked.
And the voice replied, “I am Jesus, the one you are persecuting! 6 Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you are to do.”
7 The men with Saul stood speechless with surprise, for they heard the sound of someone’s voice, but they saw no one! 8 As Saul picked himself up off the ground, he found that he was blind. 9 So his companions led him by the hand to Damascus. He remained there blind for three days. And all that time he went without food and water.
10 Now there was a believer* in Damascus named Ananias. The Lord spoke to him in a vision, calling, “Ananias!”
“Yes, Lord!” he replied.
11 The Lord said, “Go over to Straight Street, to the house of Judas. When you arrive, ask for Saul of Tarsus. He is praying to me right now. 12 I have shown him a vision of a man named Ananias coming in and laying his hands on him so that he can see again.”
13 “But Lord,” exclaimed Ananias, “I’ve heard about the terrible things this man has done to the believers in Jerusalem! 14 And we hear that he is authorized by the leading priests to arrest every believer in Damascus.”
15 But the Lord said, “Go and do what I say. For Saul is my chosen instrument to take my message to the Gentiles and to kings, as well as to the people of Israel. 16 And I will show him how much he must suffer for me.”
17 So Ananias went and found Saul. He laid his hands on him and said, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road, has sent me so that you may get your sight back and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” 18 Instantly something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he regained his sight. Then he got up and was baptized. 19 Afterward he ate some food and was strengthened.

The past few weeks I have been wanting to write something about the craziness of life and how for some reason we are awakened to Christ in the crazy times of our lives. Something goes right, something goes wrong, someone attacks, something hurts, something brings joy, we get afraid, we crash, we fall, we fail, we slip, we are weak, things get intense, life throws curves...and yet there is God through it all.

I honestly believe that God needs to use a louder voice during certain times in our lives. We seem to forget what his voice sounds like or how we need to respond to it. So he has to shout it at us. Bring a few things crashing in on us. And then we see it again.

Like Saul in the above passage: we get blinded by his "guiding" not scolding light.Now He did scold Saul and was pretty ticked off at him. But I believe God knew that Saul, soon to be Paul, would be one of his greatest advocates for the Message. God was giving Saul the wake up call, encouragement, and guidance that he was lacking and needing. Like Paul we all need are wake up calls. We are in need of some serious butt kicking. Some serious..."dude, you do realize the trail is over here...and that is poison oak you are steppin in right now?" Some of them are not as harsh as a blinding light from the sky. Some are actually quieter than we realize and we completely miss them. As the Lewis quote above puts it into perfect sense, He (God) gives us a little nudge every now and then, saying; "hey, buddy, why don't we try it this way? Yeah, remember me? You know that I am a jealous God right?!?"

I realize that Christ is jealous for me. I realize that I stray. I wander aimlessly...seeking things that will never produce the intimacy that Christ gives and provides. And yet since I have been home from India, I have been in a wierd place. I am realizing my potential in Christ daily...and yet I am failing to act on it. When I know that I should go deeper into His word, or question/discuss things...I begin to get busy again...or become shy.

Today the shyness and lame excuses had to subside...even if it was for a few moments...

See, for a few months now I have been fumbling and stumbling.And I seemed to have forgotten a key factor in my relationship with Christ...perhaps the simplest and yet most inconvienient, challenging, hard, and enjoyable part: Being still and knowing that He is God.

He has had to give me a couple wake up calls. I have been really busy lately. Been in trouble lately. Been an ass lately. Been Ben lately. And I need to come back to Him and hang with him for a little while. Chill at His feet. Get back to the basics. Fall in love again.

Today I began that journey once again. I had the priveledge of going through a prayer Labyrinth. Now, I understand, that Labyrinths are not origionally Christian. They are actually a pegan practice, dating over 2,000 B.C. (Christians caught on about 1,500 A.D.) But I do believe that if done correctly, the Labrynth can help us bring Christ back to the center of our lives and help to discard all of the distractions around us and let us focus in on the important and infinate and intimate.

one of the few pictures I could find of a Labyrinth

I was going through the Labrynth and one of the stations overwhelmed me to a point of tears. I was supposed to take my finger and place it into an ink pad, then place that bleeding ink onto a piece of paper. The problem was the last time I had taken an imprint of my finger with ink was the day I was arrested May 15th 1997. The simple coolness of finger to blue ink brought back memories of a depressing and very confused four-teen year old kid.

God shocked me today. He brought up something I have thought about, but have not dwelled on for a while. He brought me back to the very first journey I took when meeting Him for the first time in Kazakstan, only a few months later from my fingerprint being placed in files that would last forever in some file box for years to come.

It was that first meeting that I was reminded of. It was that first recognizable dance with the Holy Spirit. It was the weeping. The forgiveness. The joy. The fear. The passion.

I laughed at those moments. I thanked God for those moments. I wept for those moments.

But the journey was not finished. No, I was making it to the center...the center which leads to Christ. To the blood of Christ. Where Jesus blood never fails me...ever. To the Cross. Wicked at it is, hovering over me. I was taken to the cross, where I should have been for such a long time...but I had forgotten.

Today I took a journey. Today I found Christ...again. Today I fell in love again. Today I felt infinate. Today I rememebered what intimacy truly is.

I was given a little wake up call. By remember harsh things from my past. I was reminded again of the cool grace by which I am saved.

Was I expecting a wake up call today? No, not at all. I expected to be moved and possibly walk away with a spiritual high. Instead I walked away with a higher appreciation for the grace and forgiveness and the cross than ever before...

Crazy Times-Jars of Clay

You're cold that way
And that's why you say
The things that you say
You can't attract
The things that you lack
You're trying in vain


It seems it's always the crazy times
You find you'll wake up and realize
It takes more than your saline eyes
To make things right

You spiral down
You've broken your crown
You don't feel like a queen
You've seen the proof
But you're still crying wolf
You'll never believe


You try to climb a broken ladder
Grip the missing rungs
And fall down, down, down
Seems sometime ago you said
This wouldn't last
And now you sit here crying

Beside your bed
You feel left for dead
You kneel in the dark...

It takes more than your saline eyes
To make things right


Saturday, April 01, 2006

New favorite song

Sheryl Crow

"Always on your Side"

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side