Thoughts,Songs,Writings,Rants,Encouragements, and Life

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Nothing Is Sound-A Review


Recenlty (two weeks ago) I was given a copy of the new Foot album. Being in India...this is way cool and amazing to recieve such a pays to know certain people who are higher up...Jon and his wife will be here in Hyderabad in October...

The Album: B-E-A-UTIFUL!!! this is by far the best Foot album EVER!!! There are not many slow ballads like the old stuff...but it is still worth it...Switchfoot will take over this MTV nation...

The boys get better and better with every concert and recording...over the past two weeks this album has grown on me...there are little tidbits of genuis hidden amongst the blaring guitars and amazing drum thrashing...and Jon's lyric writing has once again improved to prove that he has an awesome gift from God to be able to put life into words for so many people to hear.

The highlight of the album is definately "the shadow proves the sunshine". this song is beyond "holy crap" amazing!!! This song alone was played at least thirty times a day...i cannot and will not be able to get enough of it...

overall...the Nothing is Sound album is Hot!!! Get your copy on September 13th!!! Seriously! you will not be dissapointed!!


Monday, August 29, 2005


Pull the depressants from the cupboard door
Get some anit-septic I need more
Just make me numb
Just make me numb

The pain of this world is to much to bear
Depress me so I just won't care
Just make me numb
Just make me numb

There was a man who greatly suffered
He covered up my sin
He covered up my shame
And through this man I discovered
All men are blessed by His pain

He was not numb 4x

I am so weak, but I am not alone
Lord come make, make yourself at home
Let me not be numb
Let me not be numb

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Thematic Elements

Bright lights crave the attention of the stage
An audience is caight between two worlds
They have come to be captivated and sedated
Inside these walls the agony of today fades
Intricate sets and backdrops claim their lonesome space
To fill the void that our business does not convey
Oohs and awes, gasps and laughs
Heres to another round of un-timed claps

The plot it is a misunderstood one
Something about "understanding the heart"
The songs are not so easily sung
Melodies and harmonies pulling each other apart
The director is a certified nut case
He came drunk on the shows opening night
The actors sleep walk across the stage
Blinded by beams of trigger happy lights

Simple monologues of obscurity ring true
Actors arranged to fill a certain empty place
The music director waves his magical wand
Lush and compulsive is the sound that is heard
Outside critics share their melodramatic static
Ripping apart the genuis of the playwrite
Oohs and awes, gasps and laughs
How did it come to end so fast

How often have I been to this show? To many times to count. I seem to find myself on a stage of misfits and indivivduals just trying to fit in. I walk amongst people who are just as lonely as me. The odd thing is how lonely we are when we are all together. My life is my stage. My stage is my faith and where it leads me. There may be times that a boss shows up drunk. There may be times I feel like I am sleepwalking through this world...just passing through. My soundtrack is anything but simple and Top 40. My heart is the hardest part of me to understand...and no matter how many studies, thoughts, dreams, conversations, songs, radio station interviews that I listen to, I will never understand myself...or the true heart of the Playwrite. All I can do is reherse my lines and give my best. Whether the critics believe it or buy into it, is not up to me. My job is to play the role assigned. I do not wish for awards or recognition like the others...I just want to have the story illustrated for the world to see...

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

-A Repentance-

Verse one:
Have I lost my first love?
Entertaining pleasures of this world
Am I falling into deception?
Drowning in refusal of repentance
How have I run so far?
This faith fading each day
Why am I discontent Lord?
Is fleeting intimacy what I seek

Pre-Chorus (1)
I have failed you again
Fill me with your spirit
I have sinned again
A confession I must give
The purstuit of you begins

Rain, Rain, wash me, cleanse me
Quench my thirsting soul
Fire, Fire, burn me, spark me
Put a passion in my bones
Dance, Dance, a beat, a groove
All my steps will follow you
Sing, Sing, a song, a tune
A melody of praise for you

Verse two:
Have I given you my best?
Putting rest an un-faithful past
Am I desiring a heart for you?
Coming with all that I have
How these sufferings haunt me
Endurance produces the character I need
Why, is no longer the question
Where, is the answer I Give

Pre-Chorus (2):
I have found you again
You filled me with hope
I am humbled again
All of me I give
The pursuit of you begins

Rain, Rain, wash me, cleanse me
Quench this thirsting soul
Fire, Fire, burn me, spark me
Put a passion in my bones
Dance, Dance, a beat, a groove
All my steps will follow you
Sing, Sing, a song, a tune
A melody of praise for you

Saturday, August 20, 2005


If you have not heard of this will...

These guys are awesome! They are completely amazing...their music has a little bit of everything for the listener. I suggest you go to their site LUXROCK

I can honestly say that these young men have the IT factor to make it in todays industry. They already have a following that would make any other band look weak!

Oh yeah, these guys are my friends...NO Really...went to high school with three of the boys...sang in chior with these guys...befriened some of them through other bands...lived across from one of them for about 9 months...and the other...well havent met him yet...but these guys rock.

Please check them out and give them your love and support...oh can hear there title track "Believe" in its entirity on their site!

So what are you waiting for? Go in awe!!

Friday, August 19, 2005

Signpost to where??

I am the sign on the side of the highway
You know, the one giving the distances
I'll tell you how far it is from here to Coopers Rock
And you can trust me, I know my facts
But that's just it, don't you see?
I can point you towards Coopers Rock, but I've never been there
Now the sign that says "Welcom to Coopers Rock"
He can tell you everything you need to know
I may konw facts about the desination
But I have no knowledge of what Coopers Rock is like
There are moments I wish I wasn't stationed here
I really want to KNOW what the welcome sign KNOWS
But this sign shall remain a guide post of FACTS
Until a swerving semi crushes me and my job as a dirctor ends...

As a Christian believer and follower of Christ, I am required to be a model example who is pointing others around me towards knowing Christ.

I have a huge passion to see the youth of this world earnestly seeking after God with all of their heart, soul, and mind. For years I have volunteerd my time to spend it encouraging and mentoring youth. But one of the things that haunts me daily is whether I am moving along with these youth in the pursuit of Christ, or am I like a sign on the side of the road giving much needed information, (50 miles to the heart of Christ) but staying rooted in the place I stand pointing the direction un-moved.

I may understand facts about who God is. I might know insights on how to draw near to God. I might be able to find certain things in scripture. Or do certain things for the ministry. And yet unless I know HIM, NOT FACTS, I will end up like a road sign pointing the way to HIM, but really just waiting the day for a huge semi-truck to swerve and crush me.

Basically are you a signpost pointing and knowing the facts/steps to get to said destination. Or are you someone who knows the facts, but also KNOWS HIM and constantly experiences and pursues HIM daily??

Thursday, August 18, 2005

-Endurance Produces Character-

Romans 5:4
"and endurance produces character, and character produeces hope,"

Today I was doing a study on the sufferings in our daily lives. Divorce, death, accidents, disease, etc. We all have certain unavoidable things that have happened to us. Some of these sufferings scar us and brand us as people, forming us into part of the person we are going to be or even possibly meant to be.

Paul suffered many hardships in his ministry and in his life. He asked God earnestly to take away some of these hinderances from his life. It took Paul three very theripeutical prayer sessions before he finally grasped the lesson that God was trying to teach him.

Paul realized as he shared with us in Romans 5:4 that "endurance (suffering) produces character." Through enduring the pain, we gain character.

Character I found, after a quick word study, is an amazing word. In the Greek version of the New Testament it is a verb which means, "to engrave." It's to take a hammer and a chisel and to chip away at a rock. To "character" something or someone means to sculpt stone into a beautiful work of art. "Character" means to have reached the point when enduring suffering faithfully has engraved a strange beauty upon our lives.

I am reminded of a familiar Goo Goo Dolls lyric. "Scars are suveniers you never lose. The past is never far." Scars or past sufferings claim a certain part of our lives, just as much as good memories or happy moments do. We are reminded of these each day, through song, or recollection by a phrase or sight. The thing to understand here is what are we taking from these moments? What is it that we are continually learning when we face these moments? We are branded with "character". What are you doing with that "character" though?

Paul coninues in verse 4 to say that "character builds(encourages) hope." With the character being etched into our lives it gives a greater appreciation for our salvation. Through enduring suffering we begin to understand life, the cost of grace, and the need for a savior.

We learn from our suffering and I believe we are called to share what we have learned from this suffering with the world around us. Not so we can understand how to cope with suffering, but to encourage one another in the building up of character and understanding the amazing Hope we have in Christ Jesus.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

A New Day

Dusty roads lead to the unknown, although someone must know to where
Remote control car engines run this country, by way of the scooter
Fresh mango and coconut smells, invade upon the cow dung air
Bare foot and callused they tread across these swarming streets

A call to prayer is heard at fifteen till six
A new sunrise paints with blues and greys
Brilliant colors of the ladies clothes ignite
Stray dogs cower in their corners awaiting the fight

And my heart could not be more full than this
For I know that today is a gift for which I live
Oh Father thank you for sending me here
Oh Father let me be your servant in India

I am yours…I am yours…I am yours

Tuesday, August 16, 2005


The other day I purchased an American DVD...I brought the DVD home...that night I sat down with my water, pillow, and blanket settling in to watch the movie...

A few seconds into the movie i realize that the actor is not speaking English...let me re-mind you this is an american DVD. So at this point I am a little frustrated, but I turn on the English subtitles...

"fine..I will watch an american movie in Hindi with american subtitles..."

So I settle in watch the movie...

At this point I think well this will be a good way to learn some more Hindi...

About Ten minutes later I realize I am not watching a movie in Hine...but in....Russian...

So here I am in India...watching an English Russian dubbed over...With English India...

Odd Really

Monday, August 15, 2005

-A Reflection-

Today was TeenStreet Reflections day...

We had about 20 students come back for a day filled with testimonies, worship, crazy competitions, a slide show, dramas, and a few short talks.

I was in charge of the Comp and man was it a blast. I was once again taken back to my days at Raft Rally and Summer Scream. The students are getting to think me as some crazy guy who dreams up weird competitions. We played variations on AWANA classics, Summer Scream Tug 'o' War, and Raft Rally's Hydro-Global-Thermal-Nuclear-War...Only it rained the entire day...and instead of six teams...we had Two...and we added a new line into the is now known to the indians as...Hydro-Global-Thermal-Nuclear-RAIN-War. I seriously had a blast teaching this to the youth and all its secrets to the Indians...They LOVED it!

Some of the reflections were great too...these students never cease to blow me away with their intelligence and their passion to know Christ for real. Students seemed to really grasp their need for good friends and student mentoring. They seem to understand that they are the future of India. And they have a great passion to see this country infatuated with Christ.

One of the things that I learned today 'again' was the idea of prayer and how many different ways there are to pray. There are so many things that surround us in our daily lives that can be instigators for prayer. I believe God is showing me that their are many ways to know Him, but there are also many ways to connect with His people. One of those ways of connecting is through prayer.

So overall the day was a good day...students had fun...I saw some old friends...and had a blast doing what brings me Happiness.

Please pray for the Youth of India and their mission to this country and the people in this country.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

-The Pursuit of Happiness-

1a) The emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires: delight. 1b) The expression or exhibition of such emotion: gaiety. 2) A state of happiness or felicity: bliss. 3) A source or cause of delight. To experience great pleasure or delight: rejoice
1.) Great pleasure and happiness. 2) A cause of Joy

1) Cheerful, blithe, glee 2) Sing, shout with joy, loud noise, battle cry, to celebrate

1) Joyfulness, gladness, cheer 2) Boasting, where of I may glory, glorying, rejoicing. 3) To gratify, to derive pleasure or advantage from-to have joy. 4) Be well, be glad, Godspeed, greeting, hail, joy, rejoice, farewell.

1) good fortune: prosperity 2a) A state of well-being and contentment: joy 2b) A pleasurable satisfaction 3) Felicity, aptness.

1) Feeling or showing pleasure 2) Willing to do something 3) Fortunate and convenient.

1) To be level, to be right, to go forward, to be honest, prosper, blessed, go, guide, lead, relieve. 2) To be tranquil, secure or successful, prosper, to be in safety.

1) To beatify, pronounce (or esteem) fortunate, call blessed, count happy. 2) Supremely blest, fortunate, well off, happy.

“All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves.” –Blaise Pascal (1)

In my recent study of the two words (joy/happiness) and how they relate, translate, what they mean, and where they fit into our daily lives, I discovered this: (especially in the New Testament)

Joy is an in-complete and momentarily satisfying emotional state of cheer, blithe, or glee. Joy also can be the term used for rejoicing with loud shouts, songs, cries, and wails of gladness. I say joy is in-complete, because of what we see in the new testament when Paul writes he often uses joy attached to the phrase “my/ our joy will be complete.” Which makes me wonder if we as humans actually know or experience true and complete joy here on earth, or are we just experiencing little side effects of joy in those moments when our emotions are high and are spirits are full of gladness and cheer.

Happiness to me seems to be a certain fulfillment of being right. A happy person is one who is blessed, fortunate, secure, and successful. Happiness can also be described as satisfaction or complete pleasure. To what extent is this satisfaction or fulfillment? I am sure it is only a small portion or glimpse of our future ‘happiness’ we shall know/understand in heaven.

We as humans all long/desire to be happy or fulfilled. It is what we do. We seek to find where we belong and ultimately our home and creator. It is like we have a homing device embedded in us, seeking to fill the empty space in our hearts longing to be filled. This desire to seek fulfillment or happiness is not a wrong thing, it is a good thing.

“If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” – C.S. Lewis(2)

“There it is in black and white, and to my mind it is totally compelling: it is not a bad thing to desire our own good. In fact the great problem of human beings is that they are far too easily pleased. They don’t seek pleasure with nearly the resolve and passion that they should. And so they settle for mud pies of appetite instead of infinite delight.

I had never in my whole life heard any Christian, let alone a Christian of Lewis’s stature, say that all of us not only seek (as Pascal said) but also ought to seek our own happiness. Our mistake lies not in the intensity of our desire for happiness, but in the weakness of it.” John Piper (3)

Although in our search for happiness we come across sinful things that we are deceived into believing just might fill the emptiness inside us. This is where our desire and choices can get us into trouble. But I believe God will make himself clear through the seeking to be whole even when we screw up. I believe that in the pursuit of happiness we are also in the pursuit of failing the void in our hearts and souls; we are searching for something to be intimate and close with. Man stumbles and falls, we are deceived by the first thing we come across that gives a flicker of holding a fulfilling intimacy within it. We find it is a fleeting intimacy, a cover up, a fake. We discover that when we do find happiness or pleasure it is in Christ, this is when the intimacy is revealed to us. We spend so much time chasing the shiny objects that pop up around us. We are somehow content with these shiny things that last for a few moments, where as if we searched harder with a deeper passion to fill the need for happiness and intimacy, we would find God and who is and all he has to offer us. But even when we do find God, sometimes we are to content with the little we know of Him, instead of daily pursuing the happiness and pleasure we could have in Him. We prove how content or ill-content we are with the beginning stages of happiness that we first found in Him, when we once again chase the shiny objects of un-fulfilling intimacy. He is always there though, ready to be sough after and ready to fulfill our deepest longings and desires.

“There once was in man a true happiness of which now remain to him only the mark and empty trace, which he in vain tries to fill from all his surroundings, seeking from things absent the help he does not obtain in things present. But these are all inadequate, because the infinite abyss can only be filled by an infinite and immutable object, that is to say, only by God Himself.”- Blaise Pascal (4)

I was fourteen in 1997 and seeking to be fulfilled. I had grown up (and was growing up) in a Christian family. My father was (and still is) a worship pastor at a Baptist church I Oregon. At the age of four I had accepted (thought I understood) Christ into my life. I can honestly say that I did not understand the difference between knowing about God and KNOWING God. In ’97 I had completely walked away from God. I was tired of ‘working’ to know God. I knew all the facts, but I wasn’t satisfied. I delved into porn, theft, had possession of drugs and alcohol (easily obtained but never consumed), had girlfriends, had the clothes, was popular, and thought about suicide often. In May of ’97 I got myself arrested and the lie I had been living lay shattered on the kitchen floor. The mask I had been wearing disappeared. The longing to be fulfilled grew even deeper. And the consequences were major for a 14 year old kid.
Later that year my family and short term team from the church went to Central Asia Kazakhstan. Over the course of five weeks I was introduced again to the awesome God I had been seeking. I was embraced with happiness and fulfillment. I had searched so long to be ‘happy’ and the answer was with me and surrounding me all along. I had never known what true happiness was, let alone felt like. But I can honestly say for almost eight years now I have been happy and satisfied. The intimacy I sought after was found, although I do stumble and chase shiny objects, but He always welcomes me back.

Now some of you may argue with the term happiness used that way. But I can’t and don’t agree with you about putting Joy in those blanks above. From my study of scripture, dictionaries, Greek and Hebrew definitions I maintain that happiness is the right word to use. I will allow you to decide for yourself.

“God wills that we should push into His presence and live our whole life there. This is to be known to us in conscious experience. It is more than a doctrine to be held; it is a life to be enjoyed every moment of every day.” A.W. Tozer (5)

God wants us to be happy and he created us for that purpose. We should daily seek to intensify our desire to fill the emptiness with ‘whatever provides the most enduring satisfaction.

Some of you literally just gasped out loud at that last statement. This is a new thought or just plain absurd to you. It may be the use of ‘whatever’, but I believe we are finding just what that ‘whatever’ really is. Would you agree with this statement by Louie Giglio? “We are created to bring pleasure and honor to the God who created us.”(6) Ah, now that’s more like it, but my question is, how do WE as believers do this, and daily on top of that? The reason we are here on earth is to give Glory to God. We are created to worship Him and be happy in Him with all that we are. Every breath should be an exhale of pleasure that reflects the awe and wonder and love of who God really is. Perhaps John Piper can help with this statement: “God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him.” (7) I agree with this completely. The only way we can glorify God is by truly being happy or satisfied in Him. I honestly believe that in our happiness we begin to reflect God as well as know God. The pursuit of happiness leads us straight to God, meaning in the pursuit of God we seek happiness or fulfillment, or satisfaction. To me these three words are very similar in meaning.

This enduring, fulfilling, and completely satisfying happiness I have mentioned is found only in God. He is where we are done seeking and we begin to truly worship and glorify our creator and father.

“The deepest desire of our hearts is for union with God. From the first moment of our existence our most powerful yearning is to fulfill the original purpose of our lives-‘to see Him more clearly, love Him more dearly, and follow Him more nearly.’ We are made for God, and nothing less will really satisfy us.”
-Bennan Manning (8)

I believe that what Manning is getting at here is Happininess. It is what we seek. And happiness is what we will continue to seek, until we find it in Christ. Pslam 42:1-2 NLT “As the deer pants for streams of water, so I long for you Oh God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I come stand before Him?” We are all thirsty and need God to quench our thirst. We all seek ‘living water’ which can only be found in Christ. Are we ready to thirst no more? Are we ready to share this ‘living water’?

This is the completion of the puzzle. The happiness we seek for, which is in Christ can only be complete when it is shared with others. To me this sounds a lot like Paul talking about the completion of Joy in the New Testament. Are search for happiness ends in Christ. It does not begin another search, but it does command us, that in order to be fully happy and satisfied, we must share this happiness with those around us. Like the famous Charlie Hall lyric: “All of life comes down to just one thing, that’s to know you oh Jesus and make you known.” There it is right there in the simple line of the song. We all seek happiness, which leads us to finding God and truly knowing Him, but once we have found Him our job is to Glorify and worship Him by making Him known to the world. So that all of those seeking complete happiness and fulfillment can find it in Christ.

Finally the pursuit of pleasure is a necessary part of worship. “We as worshipers are created to bring pleasure and honor to the God who created us.” –Giglio. The only way we can bring pleasure to God is by first finding pleasure or satisfaction in our own lives. And as have read already, the way to do that is in Christ alone. Christ is our complete happiness and pleasure. And when we are full of pleasure in Christ, that’s when Christ is most honored and glorified.
The chief end of man is to glorify God
By (not and)
Enjoying him forever.
(Without satisfaction in Christ, we cannot begin to worship or glorify God.)

Can there be anymore truth than that? I don’t think so. I am convinced I was created to seek happiness. This is found only in the God and father that I find complete pleasure and satisfaction in. the God and Father that I long to Glorify and worship all the days of my life.

What about you, what do you think???

Monday, August 08, 2005


This was rolling around in my head for a few days...some sort of poemature...I don't expct it to make any sense...

How often have my dreams,
Made the front page of my life?
How many fears have been present,
When trying to make decisions?
How often do I ignore,
That which is suffocating me?
How can I feel this empty,
When I know there's fullness to find?
How is it that I am not alone,
In this hollw vacant space?

I know that I am loved
I know that I am missed
I know that I am not on edge
But I don't always feel that way

I know that I am gifted
I know that I am unique
I know that I am making progress
But I don't always look the part

I know that I am pursued
I know that I am free
I know that I am not on my own
But I don't always seem to notice

How do I misdunderstand all these things,
And still keep on living through Grace?


So I must say that the new Switchfoot song 'Stars' is off the hook amazing. The guys never cease to amaze me. And the new website is pretty cool has some pretty sweet samples of most of the material that will be on the "nothing is sound" album coming the 13th of september...

In other Switchfoot news...

The band will no longer be coming in August, but in October instead. I am patiently waiting for that time to roll around. Five days of Switchfoot...AHHH YEAH!

Aslo I put the new Switchfoot Poster up on the Office wall here at the OM campus...Everyone will know who these guys are by the time they arrive. Bumper sticker, covers my desk...button, attached to my Switchfoot T-shirt worn each day...all in all it's good to be a Switchfoot fan.

And finally...the question of the moment...why do we cry when we ralph?

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

"Could life be any better...

I Submit that it cannot!!"

I am proud to announce that I now have my Dell DJ and my Laptop back. Both of them decided to take a fairly long sebatical from me, but now they are back and ready to give me the service that I require as their humble master!! MUUUAAAHHHHAAA!

It is so great to have music back...the seperation between us was not a good thing...and we have decided (that is music and i) that we belong together.

Now to find some new music...

Anybody got some good suggestions on some new or unheard of music that is surfacing around the world??? (post a comment if ya do)

Monday, August 01, 2005

-Rock 'n' Roll Band- Shel Silverstein

If we were a rock 'n' roll band,
We'd travel all over the land
We'd play and we'd sing and wear spangly things,
If we were a rock 'n' roll band.

If we were a rock 'n' roll band,
And we were up there on the stand,
The people would hear us and love us and cheer us,
Hurray for that rock 'n' roll band.

If we were a rock "n' roll band,
Then we'd have a million fans,
We'd giggle and laugh and sign autographs,
If we were a rock 'n' roll band.

If we were a rock 'n' roll band,
The people would all kiss our hands,
We'd be millionaires and have extra long hair,
If we were a rock 'n' roll band.

But we ain't no rock 'n' roll band,
We're just seven kids in the sand
With homemade guitars and pails and jars
drums pf potato chip cans.

Just seven kids in the sand,
Talkin' and wavin' our hands,
And dreamin' and thinin' oh wouldn't it be grand,
If we were a rock 'n' roll band.